L1ke_n0_other on Xanga

raw. real. genuine.	o d e s s a

L1ke_n0_other

SubscriptionsSites I Read
Subscribe to L1ke_n0_other Get trial subscription chrismayi J_Diddy_2005 Love_Missy ethe_real h2designs di_an_a tooweird4words aDoRKaBLeSupeRstaR la_Lain3y lilflypboy Bo0teeFr3ak

Posting Calendar

\|<< oldest \| newest >>\|
view all weblog archives

Friday, September 18, 2009

	http://gramercyresidences.com/flash_website/ ^ im gonna buy one by the end of the YEAR! a one bedroom LOFT. i will be a BALLING bachelorette. i already have my car, got my steeze, and i will work my ass off the next couple of months so i can copp me my own BACHELORETTE PAD! i will do it, I WILL DO IT!!
	4:31 AM - 1 view - email it

..... man. no ONE makes "The Secret" work as well as I do... I SWEAR...
saw my gym dude today TWICE--- at golds, then at tabu :) it was a nicee feeling,
but he sooooooooo is not TALKING to me first... ugh. he wants me to make the first move,
but that's sooo not gonna happen...

i think he's leaving too though-- in like October-- so he really is JUST eye candy..
but its weird-- like when i was at the gym, i thought he wasnt there, or he left already,
and like, when i saw him-- i totally got this burst of motivation :)

and then when i think he left-- i totally STOPPED working out... lol, he's just sooo fuckin FINE!
like--- his face is RIDICULOUSly adorable-- but he's a little skinny in the legs... and that's like a SUPER no no
for me...

but his face--- ohmygoodness... soooo NICE.. its like... channing, with zac efron...
i dunno-- its soooo lovely :)

(but he does have a LITTLE indication of eyebags)-- ANNND, a MAJOR deal breaker is that he
SMOKES... i totally know i can make him stop-- but still--- WOMPWOMP!!!
-------

bt yeah--- it was nice to see him twice :) with his fine ass!!!
and on that note-- time to talk to b!

gotta go to empire tomorrow at 3 to get my PHOTO done :)
eee im excited :D

3:12 AM - 1 view - email it

Thursday, September 17, 2009

	p.s- i just realized that today would have been one year and four months... -sigh-
	4:01 AM - 1 view - email it

im gonna sleep pretty soon... drowning in my nyquil :)
but before i end this night, i want to say this. i'll go ahead and get this off my chest,
and seeing that alcohol is a truth serum, and nyquil contains 10% alcohol,
i feel like revealing some pretty deep thoughts before i go to bed.

first and foremost,
i just want to sit back for ONE second, and see how much has changed...

i literally...
am single.
and just a couple of days/week ago,
i was taken.

i really thought i was gonna spend the rest of my life with this ONE individual,
and it turned out to just--- not work out that way...

i am even going to the extent of thinking... "if he had entered the draft, we would have
made it.... we wouldn't have been FIGHTING, and we would have been able to just
look forward to spending the rest of our lives together, and starting a family..."

its amazing how all of that changed, the day we knew he wouldn't have a future in the PBA...
but can you blame us? there was no way we could work out--- he was gonna have to leave
ultimately for Germany--- with NO return flight here...

we did what we had to do, but i swear-- its just so tragic that it had to end up the way it did...
im only saying that because in LITERALLY-- like, 2 weeks, we SABOTAGED our relationship
to the point where we just finally decided to give up....

we played the REALISTIC decision here.. not the FAIRYTALE-- fight fight fight mentality, and we
didnt DENY what was really gonna happen EVENTUALLY between us right?

i swear-- he seriously could have been the one for me, and i would have been completely happy to be
Mrs.Viardo.... its just soo sad that we ended up fighting to the end, and even feelings of resentment
and bitterness are the emotions that come fresh in my mind when i think about the LATEST 'us'.

i really hoped everything would have worked out... but i guess, that's life. I know that God has a plan
for me, and everything is seriously falling into place, so ill put my faith in my one true love-- God...

Lord, i just ask that you guide me, and keep me strong, because you and i both know that this time is
virtually impossible for me to see the good in anything... i love you and the only reason why i cant even b
mad at you is because you have never let me down, and never left me alone-- so ill just let go, and let God...

i really loved him.... i really... really... really... did..
when i looked in his eyes, i imagined how our kids would look with his big brown eyes, and long eyelashes...
i imagined me at his games, courtside wifey shouting at the refs because of WACK calls...

i imagined it all, and i really hoped that it would all become reality....
Lord, i really do need you more than ever...
i feel alone, i feel sad, and i just miss him....

---
its like the 15th... almost 2 weeks since i last saw or spoke to him... it took 2 weeks for me to realize
that i missed him... well, not even that i missed him-- but i was able to just, avoid the pain... for this long..

but now its really really starting to hit me....
-sigh-
ayyyyyyy.... b just called me, (thank you Lord, you knew i needed to smile) i'll go and talk to her now..
goodnite yall

.........

i never posted our last trip pictures...
see, over time we started just--- being in SYNC, and we
even started looking like each other a little bit....

-sigh-

..... :(

3:07 AM - 1 view - email it

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

so i ran out of dayquil so ive steady been just taking nyquil :)
LOL im such a NYQUIL addict i swear-- i love it!

but anywhooo-- today was the FIRST day in weeks that i had nothing to do,
and it felt REALLY AWESOME!

later today im gonna head to the gym and hopefully see my crush!
lol he's totaaaaaaaally been my motivation to go to the gym everyday.
i never say crap to him, but just give him that occasional hawt look :)

i usually see him around 730 till late...
i really hope i see him, i wanna smile :)

but anywhooooo,
he's nothing, no big deal,
but i dunnno, im just chillllin, doin ODESSA first.
--------

later though, i might head over to forbes park for Mark's wake..
it's sooo crazy that he's gone. it was sooo unexpected...
he was shot 7 times, so im thinkin it was PERSONAL....
they ambushed him in fronta his condo, in one of the RICHER parts of makati too..
i dunno man... its crazy.....

------

im gonna go and get ready to go to the gym, even though im about to take nyquil..
lol i hope i dont fall asleep in traffic.... that would suck ass.
good thing john is here for now, his flight is tonight though...!

kk talk to you guys later, PAYCE!

4:57 PM - 1 view - email it

Next 5 >>